How do you welcome someone into a conversation with Confidence? It seems easy, and it can be. I call this the “Come Join Us” approach.
If you’re in a group conversation and you see someone in your peripheral vision, here’s your chance to be gracious and welcoming. Extend your arm and invite them into the conversation. “Sophia, come join us. We were just talking about Parsa’s new job.” You will feel empowered by taking the initiative and the other person will remember you for bringing them right into the conversation.
However, there are some, “What If’s.”
What if you can’t remember that person’s name? Do this: Extend your arm and guide them into the conversation and say, “Hi. Come join us. Do you all know each other?” Typically, people will jump right in and say, “No we don’t. I’m Joe Valletta or I’m Jim Smith.” And then, as if on cue, everyone else will automatically say their names. And so will your guest!
Here’s another what if. What if you’re in a conversation and you do know the name of the person on the outside, but you don’t remember the names of all the people in the group who you’re talking to? Do this: Extend your arm, welcome the person, and say, “Greg, come join us. Everybody, this is Greg Bayles. (pause) You know what? I’ll let you all intro yourselves.” It’s as if you are doing the group a favor by letting them introduce themselves... when really, they are saving you from stumbling through the introduction!
The key to confidence in these situations is to practice. Practice with family, friends, co-workers... whomever you think might be “game” to learn these skills, too. With practice, it will get easier. And then, in real life, you'll be able to welcome people into conversations with Confidence.
Next month, I’ll show you how to “Exit a Conversation with Confidence," if you're not being included in the conversation. Stay tuned. And thank you for reading.