Even the Best Have Hard Days: Here's What to Say

 A few weeks ago, I joined nine other business advisors and coaches from around the country for a weeklong experience called The Focus Camino. It was led by our shared business coach, Mark Le Blanc, who lives in Minneapolis.

The purpose was to practice a “focused” outreach strategy reconnecting with past and current clients and reaching out to potential new ones, and saying Thank You to mentors, advocates, and other people who referred us.

Here’s how it worked: Each day, we focused on “planting” three seeds. That could mean sending a handwritten note, making a phone call, texting someone, or in my case, mailing them a signed copy of my book. Twice a day, we met as a group on Zoom for 17 minutes. That was 5am and 4pm for me. No late arrivals. No early exits. In the morning, each of us came prepared to name one person we would thank and three we’d reach out to. In the afternoon, we reported back.

Mark is a phenomenal facilitator. He would open the call with prompts like, “Tell us briefly why you’re on this Focus Camino?” or “What’s an insight or surprise that this daily practice has brought to you?”

Then came the 4th morning. A similar prompt. “What one word describes how you’re feeling today?” We were psyched.  We offered, energized and hopeful and focused and organized because the seeds we were planting were already working.

When we finished, Mark paused and said, “This morning…I feel terrible.”

We were stunned. He’s usually upbeat, composed, and on his game. 

But he said, “Look, I’ve got a big trip coming up. I have lots to do. I’m behind. And, this morning, I didn’t want to exercise. I didn’t want to fix a healthy breakfast. I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and sleep in. So, he asked us, "If you were me—having a rough morning—what advice would you want someone to give you?”

Here’s what we offered:

“Sweet-talk yourself.” Say, “Atta boy, Mark. You’re doing great. Keep going.”

“Take one more step. Just. One. More. It counts.”

“Life is a miracle. Let that perspective steady you.”

“Listen to your body. If it needs rest, honor that.”

“Validate your feelings. You feel the way you feel. And you don’t need to explain it.”

“Go on a treasure hunt of achievements. Look at what you’ve built, Mark and who you’ve helped.”

“You’re not alone. I’m so glad you told us, Mark. How can we help you today?”

“Get out of bed. Some days, that’s the win!”

“Give yourself grace. You deserve the same patience you give others.”

“Practice gratitude. Naming just one blessing can soften the rest.”

Mark was clearly moved. He said, “This collection of pearls is profound.” I agree. 

That’s why I’m sharing these pearls with you today. Because even the most confident, accomplished people have hard mornings. Hard days. Hard seasons of life. What matters is how we talk to ourselves and each other, when those hard times happen.

So, today, let this be your reminder to offer yourself and other people compassion.

Stay connected to people you care about personally and professionally. And plant a few seeds of your own this week. You never know who might need to hear from you or who could be that person for you.