How are you doing today?
Before 2020, I’d typically ask people, “Hi, how ya doing?”
They’d say, “Good. How are you?”
I’d reply, “Doing well, thanks.”
Now, I am much more intentional. I ask my clients and everyone, really, “How are you doing, today?”
I learned to add that word from Sheryl Sandberg. After her husband passed away suddenly in 2015, in the Jewish tradition, you sit shivah, for 30 days, And, you welcome people into your home to express their condolences.
When Sheryl returned to Facebook, she posted an extraordinary reflection. In it she said, “During those 30 days, when people would ask me, “How are you doing?”
“I’d think to myself, ‘how do you think I’m doing? I’m doing terribly.’”
But when someone asked her, “How are you doing today?” then she said she could focus on the present moment. “Today, I’m feeling sad or scared or worried or hopeful, I am loving my children.”
So, starting this day, I encourage all of us ask our colleagues, friends, and our family members, “How are you doing, today?” And then listen to them.
If there’s one thing the world needs at this time, it’s for us to listen to each other.
And use those all-important micro-cues, those small, significant signals that show people that we’re listening.
Nod your head. Lean in. Say, “hum...that’s interesting. Tell me more about that.” These words and gestures quietly say, “I’m curious. I hear you. You matter.” And that builds trust.
You will have plenty of time to say what you’re thinking because if you listen,
chances are, other people will be more apt to ask you, “So, how are you doing today?”
If you’d like to bring The Confidence Project to your team or you’re interested in 1:1 Advising, all virtual, please email us.
Thanks for watching. And thanks for listening, today.